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Our good friends, Ann and Keith Mackmann, here seen at their daughter’s wedding, took some time to realise how matters really are, even though meeting us regularly.
Alice has a very satisfying habit of looking after my needs, filling my glass and the like. It was after three or four months of regular meetings that Ann suddenly turned to me saying “you’re not the boss, after all!” Alice agreed, saying that we are totally equal. Well I am not completely sure of that, but I do know that I am not the boss!
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In the early days we took a self-sufficient suite in the (now burnt out) Euro-Nippon on the Boulevard in Manila. Mama, my charming mother-in-law, was staying with us at the time. I was sitting alone on our balcony enjoying a beer and watching the sea and passers-by below. After a while Alice came out to check my beer glass and see if I needed anything to eat. I didn’t and Alice sat beside me. But after a moment I changed my mind. Unthinkingly I got up and walked to our kitchen and started making a sandwich. Mama called something to Alice, which of course I could not understand. Immediately Alice was hurrying in beside me, taking over preparation. A little later she told me Mama had called to say “Your husband is making his own food”. Alice enjoys making a home and has told me that it is just like “playing house when I was little”. So long as one does not believe that these mannerisms indicate a passive, or lesser, role in the marriage a husband can enjoy the treatment.
And as to fidelity I would heartily recommend that a husband does not stray, Filipinas do not necessarily have a great deal of patience in these matters even though many of the Philippine males like to spread themselves around. Just remember that scissors can remove the cause of your wife’s concern and that this is an often used option!
When I travelled to Malaysia a month or so ahead of my family, I found that the “rich westerner” was a source of major interest to many young ladies. Having travelled and worked in many places I was not misled into believing that any attraction arose from my looks or personality. Either my (presumed full) wallet, or merely status gained for an Asian girl to be squired by a westerner, was all it was. However when interest was expressed to obviously I found that the simple statement “My wife is a Filipina and knows how to use scissors” allowed me to withdraw gracefully.
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So if anyone reads this while internally debating whether to search for an Asian wife in order to avoid a fully equal marriage I really suggest that you would be better to seek an old fashioned French maid. Try showing the 1955 Good Wife’s Guide to anyone, of any geographical background, I feel that the response will clearly let you know that times have changed!
As for me I am extremely glad to have Alice, and the place where she was born has absolutely nothing to do with that!
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